I should have known better to trust a madman with a box, but I was young and naïve. I believed this stranger when he fell out of the sky into my garden shed and claimed that he was an alien who could travel through time and space. He proved it by taking me roller skating on the Sea of Tranquility. Later, we dined upon Tang and freeze dried ice cream at the “authentic” Neil Armstrong Cafe. It was all quite convincing, really. And to be fair, he was an alien who could travel through time and space. Just not the particular one he claimed to be.
Impersonating a celebrity to the yokels who don't know any better is bad enough, but this piece of work took me for all that I had. He claimed that as a time traveler, he had no use for money. I quickly realized that was only because I was picking up the tab for everything. We were at a spa on the planet Midnight when the authorities finally caught up with us, and let me tell you, a weekend there is not cheap. The bastard is now serving three consecutive life sentences at Stormgate which is what he deserves but I was offered no restitution. I was left with only with a one way ticket back to Earth (who knows what year it will be when I arrive. I hope my Mum isn't too worried.) and an irrational hatred of bowties.